So the MD's have informed me that I need to back off the nursing a bit. Apparently, Norah is REALLY big (the size of an average 1 year old) and I, well, not so large, so it's really taking a toll on my body. I've started sensing that she was needing more than I was producing anyways, so after many days of deliberation, I have finally come to terms with this whole idea of weaning with still nursing at night. Why is this such a hard thing to wrap my brain around? It seems like only yesterday that I was in tears while nursing, praying that it would be over soon, and asking for reminders daily of why "breast is best." Maybe it's because milk is the last thing Norah truly needs from me to grow, after 37.5 weeks safe in my belly. Perhaps it's because of the way she looks up at me and plays with my hair that I'm afraid I'll miss. The fact that we realized just how expensive formula was (approx. $30 every 5 days!) makes it a bit more discouraging. Or maybe it's the guilt I feel thinking about how God blessed me with enough milk to feed a small daycare and then giving that up...who knows, but I know it's time. Maybe I could have made it to my goal of a year if she wasn't such a porker, but I'm glad she is and I'm glad I did for the past 6 months. When Josh gave her the bottle yesterday with half milk/half formula, she cried and refused it. It took me still snuggling her in my arms to convince her to chug it. I'm not going to lie, a small part of me appreciated that response! But with a few more tries, she's now used to the variety and I've started to focus on the fact that now Josh can experience the joy of feeding our sweet girl, I'm free to be out longer than two hours max, and I do get to see her sweet face while she drinks up. So maybe weaning isn't just all about getting baby off boob; maybe it's also the first steps of weaning mommy to the idea of baby growing up! Either way, it's a process.
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